Da série: Meus Ídalos (por Deni)

Se é certa a teoria de que as mulheres querem um Bozo na sua vida, no meu caso o Bozo seria Woddy Allen. Ele é feio, baixinho e neurótico, mas eu casaria com ele, sem sombra de dúvida! Inteligência e senso de humor refinado: essa é a síntese desse cara.

Aí vai uma palhinha dum dos três livros que ele escreveu:

My apology

Socrates chose to die, rather than abandon his principles. Allen, who admires his courage in the face of death, has often tried to put himself in the great philosophers sandals. But, no matter how often he does, he immediately winds up dozing off, always having the same dream. And the play begins.Allen is locked up in a prison cell and has been condemned to death, in the exact position of Socrates. His philosophers friends visits him . At first, Allen is very wise and calm. But as he realises that he really is going to die, he panics. And, rather than die, he is willing to abandon his principles.

Allen: Right... right... (Suddenly dropping all pretense of courage) Look, I’m going to level with you - I don’t want to go! I’m too young!

Agathon: But this is your chance to die for the truth!

Allen: Don’t misunderstand me. I’m all for truth. On the other hand I have a lunch date in Sparta next week and I’d hate to miss it. It’s my turn to buy. You know these Spartans, they fight so easily.

Simmans: Is our wisest philosopher a coward?

Allen: I’m not a coward, and I’m not a hero. I’m somewhere in the middle.

Simmans: A cringing vermin.

Allen: That’s approximately the spot.

Agathon: But it was you that proved that death doesn’t exist.

Allen: Hey, listen - I’ve proved a lot of things. That’s how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let’s not get carried away.

Agathon: But you have proved many times that the soul is immortal.

Allen: And it is! On paper. See, that’s the thing about philosophy - it’s not all that functional once you get out of class.

Simmans: And the eternal "forms"? You said each thing always did exist and always will exist.

Allen: I was talking mostly about heavy objects. A statue or something. With people it’s a lot different.

Agathon: But all that talk about death being the same as sleep.

Allen: Yes, but the difference is that when you’re dead and somebody yells, "Everybody up, it’s morning," it’s very hard to find your slippers.

(from Side Effects, by Woody Allen)